• Andrea Holgate

Box of Blame and Shame for Mistresses: Were they wrong or just a victim of love?​


Society has been treating mistresses as dirt on the mud, ready to be thrown away as they perceive to be as a destructing thing to a family. Frequently, they are being thrown inside the box of shame and blame. The generations have gone, but how we view mistresses is still unchanging, yet growing worse with each passing day. But to catch sight of the situation in the broader view, we will realize that we have been blaming the wrong person throughout. While many of us knew that love, regardless of its sense of being right or wrong, is still love after all. We all know how love can go at any length, that we are so ready to sacrifice whatever we have for the sake of it.


However, a man who already has a family on his own is undoubtedly prohibited from finding love with another woman while he currently resides with his wife. In other words, a married man is not allowed to use all the excuse of love to escape from everything. But for some reason, instead of blaming a man who committed an immoral sin, our society blames the mistress instead, which in a sense is a mistress who is a victim of deception and love.

In other words, it is never a woman who ruined a good family, but the father itself. It is essential to keep in mind that fathers who left their family for his newfound love will always be the father's mistakes because it is always his decision that led him to that situation. However, being a woman should also give importance to other families' dignity and respect by not hanging out with married men. Because if men could not handle themselves, then women must prove the intelligence and power they hold to say no in times of inappropriateness.



Similarly, The Gorgeous Mr. Zane, written by Harry Stefano, tells about mistresses' harsh reality. The novel states current societal attitudes and also to provoke social norms. The book also offers empowerment to women about how they should be free with their choices, especially in love. As the book stated, women are not societal puppets controlled by strings. This only indicates that whatever decision they have made for themselves, it is never a valid reason to control their identity through harming judgments.

Nevertheless, the book was written engagingly, and it will genuinely widen our perspective on how we view mistresses. This tells that even if they are the cause of family destruction, they are just victims of the wrong time and at the wrong place. As stated by William Shakespeare, "Affection, mistress of passion, sways it to the mood of what it likes or loathes."

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